But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
