He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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