Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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