Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
