i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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