Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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