I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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