i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
