woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
