I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
