my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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