I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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