I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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