remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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