I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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