He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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