Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
