i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
