In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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