How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
