who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
