well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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