they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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