real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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