I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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