you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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