I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
