recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
