I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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