We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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