i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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