Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
