brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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