Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
