With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
