I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
