Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
