What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
