whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
