Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
