He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
