Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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