i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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