U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
