Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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