hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
