does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
