I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
