Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
