Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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