the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
