He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
