Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
