In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
we should paint friendship bongs
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