my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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