dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
