He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
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The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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