So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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