Christians are straight up FREAKS
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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