Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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