Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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