We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
